Dear Mom...

Dear Mom,

It was 15 years ago today when God decided that you would be the perfect candidate to fit an opening he had for a Guardian Angel slot up in Heaven.  I am of the opinion that this was a pretty selfish move on His part, as He seemed to not have factored in to that decision just how much we needed you down here, but I guess that is one of the perks about being God...you get to do what you want and there is nothing anyone else can do about it.  There is a saying out there about how time mends a broken heart, but I don't really think that is an accurate depiction.  Sure time may help stitch up the edges around the wound so that it doesn't continue to grow, but there will always be a piece missing that can never be filled.  Though I must say, as my Guardian Angel, you have done an awesome job of sending me an amazing support team to help me get through all the trials and tribulations of life. I am so lucky to have your sisters and Margaret to share memories that they have of you when you were stepping on all those stones that I have ventured across recently: weddings, babies, home-buying...all the things my young mind didn't think to ask you about while you were still here.  I am also blessed with the best mother-in-law on the planet who has taken me under her wing, not as an "in-law", but as one of her own. Because of all of these wonderful people I do not lack in the female support and comfort that a daughter typically receives from her mother.  However, sometimes a girl just really needs an embrace from her mom and nothing can take away the emptiness that comes from knowing it is not possible in this earthly life.

When it comes to this whole Heaven and Earth relationship we have going on, I think we get the short-end of the stick down here. After all, up there on those big, puffy clouds (or on the smooth, sandy beach...or whatever it is that Heaven is like) you get to watch and see everything that's going on down here.  You already have been able to bear witness to how wonderful Alex treats me and how perfect Hunter is.  However, the only way that anyone that entered into my life after you were so abruptly taken from me will be able to know you is through the memories that I have to share with them.  I have already begun to tell Hunter stories of you (you are known as "Grammy Wright" in case you couldn't hear it), but it hurts my heart every time I think about how I will never be able to take a picture of you holding him in your arms.  I can tell him all about the summer weekends at the beach, the Halloween costumes that you sewed up for us, the movie and game nights, the silly stories you told us, the songs you sang to us, the special notes and treats you left in our lunch boxes, the fact that you never hesitated to put a book down if we wanted to chat with you, the jokes that you told...but he will never be able to experience any memories with you on is own.

In case you didn't know, I miss you tremendously every single day. I think about how you would react to current news stories or family drama.  I keep songs on the radio that I remember you singing to in the car (no matter how awful the songs really are). I quote you in situations that I remember you being in. My heart is heavy with your absence, but I do my best not to let it bring me down, because I know that you would not want me to let it....and since you are my Guardian Angel, I figure I better do my best to make your job as easy as possible.

Long story long, just checking in with you to let you know that even though I have missed you with all of my heart and soul over these last 15 years, I am doing OK and there is no need to worry about me.

Love you to infinity and beyond,

Beth